Intro post

Feb. 2nd, 2020 08:57 pm
erinptah: (Default)
My active journal is the one you're looking at. My active blog is [syndicated profile] erinptah_feed ([wordpress.com profile] erinptah). Locked personal posts and [livejournal.com profile] fail_fandomanon link roundups are found here on DW. Fic recs and weekly fanwork roundups are on Wordpress. Everything else is found on both.

[personal profile] ptahrrific - fanfiction and mixes
[archiveofourown.org profile] ErinPtah - fanfiction
[deviantart.com profile] ErinPtah - [fan]art
[tumblr.com profile] bicatperson - fanart

And you can like it all on Facebook.

But I'm A Cat Person is a webcomic about magical shifting battle monsters and the humans who are just trying to get on with their lives.

Leif & Thorn is a sparkly queer fantasy dramedy. Thorn is a knight guarding a foreign embassy; Leif prunes the trees and admires his sword. Bilingual shenanigans and budding romance ensue.

And don't miss the archives of And Shine Heaven Now, the world's second-most-popular Hellsing-related comic.
erinptah: (daily show)
"A self-described "email prankster" in the UK fooled a number of White House officials into thinking he was other officials, including an episode where he convinced the White House official tasked with cyber security that he was Jared Kushner and received that official's private email address unsolicited."

"Among [McMaster's] biggest challenges was holding the attention of the president. [...] Trump had little time for in-depth briefings on Afghanistan’s history, its complicated politics or its seemingly endless civil war. Even a single page of bullet points on the country seemed to tax the president’s attention span on the subject, said senior White House officials."

From August: "Residents told Al Jazeera on Tuesday that at least 100 civilians had been killed [by US-led airstrikes on Raqqa] since Sunday, with 55 civilians killed in the eastern neighbourhoods of Bedou and al-Sukhani on Monday."

"And my eleven-year-old asked me what that sticker meant, and what did it have to do with Trump, and weren’t we not supposed to use words like that."

Meanwhile, when people were lining up for a Hillary Clinton book signing (starting the night before), she sent her staff to deliver them pizzas. Imagine having someone like that in the Oval Office. Imagine.
erinptah: (Default)
The last flight out of Puerto Rico, ninja'ing its way out the narrow spiral between the body of Hurricane Irma and one of the arms. These pilots, and the people on the ground who plotted that flight, deserve some kind of medal.

“They helped him get job training. They helped him get counseling. And now, as a former white supremacist himself, he will receive training on how to help other people. It’s a very individual program and it really works.” The important work of Life After Hate (whose government funding got cut under this administration, because of course).

"I was a neo-Nazi. Then I fell in love with a black woman." It's more complicated and less Pollyanna than the headline suggests, but the progress is genuine.

"For three months, the [Canadian] federal government has been secretly spiriting gay Chechen men from Russia to Canada, under a clandestine program unique in the world."

"Wouldn't it be wonderful if all our letters could be published in the future in a more enlightened time. Then all the world could see how in love we are."
erinptah: (Default)
There was a ton of buzz going around about this book not long ago, and understandably, given the amazing premise. A boarding school to accommodate all those kids who have wandered off into magical fairylands for a while, and help re-acclimatize them to reality? So much possibility.

Guys, it...it really squandered the premise.

After a promising setup, Every Heart A Doorway turns into "a fairly gruesome murder mystery at a school for kids with weird/magic abilities."

They don't actually have any scenes of the kids in classes, much less any "here's how to deal with reality" sequences. It's insular, almost claustrophobic -- the characters never leave the school. There's no mention of phones, Internet, pop culture, anything connected to the Real World they're supposed to be reintegrating with. Early on one of the characters mentions looking something up on Google Images before she arrived, but if it wasn't for that reference, this could've taken place any time in the past hundred years.

When the gruesome murders start, there's no police investigation, no real-world forensics, no "here's how crimes are solved in a world without magic." Even the adult authorities at the school, who are In On The Secret, don't manage the situation at all. It's just...left to the teenagers to solve on their own, with the residual supernatural talents they have from their fantasylands.

(How great would it have been to have the cops show up with all their mundane nonmagical expectations, and the teachers run interference, and it takes their combined efforts to make progress? Better yet, what if the investigative team included a former student, who could handle both aspects of the case at once?)

Without spoiling any specifics, by the end of the book, it doesn't support the idea that "learning to be part of the world you're in" is a worthwhile goal in the first place.

This in spite of the fact that some of the kids' fairyland-developed coping mechanisms...do not seem healthy. I don't mean "sensible by fairyland rules but maladapted to our-world rules," I mean generally unhealthy.

You know what series handles this really well? Star Versus The Forces Of Evil. The heroine in this case is native to magicland, studying abroad on Earth, and the show does a lovely job of exploring the nuances from "Star learns that this behavior isn't culturally appropriate for Earth" to "Star learns that this behavior is uncool anywhere."

And I've loved fanfic that explores post-magic-journey culture shock. The Pevensies struggling to balance "solving problems by breaking out our mad skills as former-adult Kings and Queens of Narnia" with "not freaking out everyone around us." Lyra and Pan having to remember to stay close together. Dorothy getting so much cross-cultural experience so young that, after a certain point, she can drop into pretty much any world and have no trouble going with the flow.

The students in Every Heart A Doorway don't get any "here's how to codeswitch to Earth-appropriate behaviors" or "wow, you're interacting with regular Earth culture really well already" or "this isn't good at all, let's learn and grow and develop as characters." They stay in their insulated setting with all the patterns they learned in other worlds going pretty much unexamined.

So much potential material here! So painfully unexplored!


~*~


People were also talking a lot, when the initial buzz was going around, about book's the asexual protagonist.

Again: cool in theory! In practice, all it seems to mean is that her narration keeps doing unnecessary and shoehorned-in detours about how totally uninterested in sex she is.

The first time it came up was fine. Awkward, but forgivable. The rest, not so much. There's a scene where she's having a friendly conversation, and suddenly goes into an internal monologue about how she's flirting, and this is fun, but she's totally uninterested in having sex with the people she flirts with. It's like she's jumping in to correct an assumption that the reader isn't making -- I hadn't even realized she was supposed to be flirting in the first place.

The scene that struck me the most is: she's admiring the beauty of a male classmate, and thinks all the other girls around her must feel the same, "although she was sure she was the only one whose attraction was aesthetic, not romantic."

First point: the character is not aromantic. (She says so. In those words.) It's possible to feel romantic attraction in general, and not specifically feel it toward this guy. For her. But...not for literally anyone else?

Second point: why does she think there are no lesbians at this school? Why doesn't it occur to her that some people are aromantic? Why does she show zero awareness that even straight girls (and bi/pan girls, although I'm not sure she realizes those exist either) don't have to feel attracted to every boy in existence?

Is she just supposed to be really blinkered and self-centered, as a character flaw? Maybe, but I never felt like the narrative saw her that way.

Is it a "the lady doth protest too much" situation, where she is falling in love with the guy, and is aggressively denying/projecting to avoid facing the idea? Also possible, but has Unfortunate Implications for the way her asexuality is established by repeating "and she totally wasn't sexually attracted to people, nope, not at all."


~*~


The book is really weird about gender. Most of the students are girls (a couple hundred of them, to a grand total of 5 boys), and this is explained as a result of socialization and sexism and boys not wandering off as easily without getting noticed.

Which...doesn't track with the genre it's supposed to be commenting on. At all.

For every Lucy and Susan, there's a Peter and Edmund. For every Alice through the looking-glass, there's a Milo in a phantom tollbooth. Wendy Darling disappeared with both of her brothers in tow, and that's not even counting Peter and the Lost Boys. Dorothy, Betsy Bobbin, and Trot are balanced out by Button-Bright and Zeb. Lyra had her Will. I could go on.

On top of that, this main group of characters ends up including 2 of the boys (along with maybe 4 girls).

Why establish a mostly-female setting if you're then going to overrepresent the male characters that dramatically? Why not just have a roughly-gender-balanced school in the first place?

And it manages to wring a heck of a lot of heterosexuality out of this casting. Every major female character mentions having a male love interest in whatever fantasy world she wandered into. One of the boys basically wandered into Halloweentown and had a romance with a skeleton...very specifically a girl skeleton. I already mentioned the ace girl's weird obliviousness to the possibility of gay people. And the only flirting we see between students is m/f.

The aforementioned super-beautiful boy is trans. Which is nice! And the subject is handled more naturally than the asexuality. Doubly nice.

But in some ways that only makes the broader context weirder. If there's a setting where nobody is explicitly LGBT, it's easy to read that as "underneath the veneer of everyone politely ignoring the topic, people are still LGBT at the average rate."

Here, the author wants to have explicit representation! But it's like...she made one of her boys trans, and one of her girls ace, and then just...stopped. Without considering the idea of LGBT people existing generally. In background characters. In sidelong references. In the concept of female characters other than the heroine who aren't into a hot guy.


~*~


At least it was short? I blew through the whole audiobook in a single work day, so the disappointing aspects weren't dragged out for long.

But seriously, there were a lot of disappointments. And now I'm worried there are people writing better versions of the premise but getting shot down as ripoffs, or getting publishing deals but no hype because all the "what a cool, unusual premise!" posts have been done.

...Does anyone have recs? I'll also take recs for your favorite culture-shock fics of existing portal-fantasy series. Anything that takes this book's premise and actually, wholeheartedly, runs with it.
erinptah: (lighthouse)
Photos of the Boston construction of America's first subway system.

"On Jupiter, which has 69 moons, it's possible for there to be multiple eclipses occurring at the same time. On Pluto, whose moon appears much larger in its sky than the Sun, total eclipses can happen every day for years on end." [Video]

"The only music that was allowed were classic composers, or simple folk tunes, whose words were all about how great socialism was." So Soviet Russia got an underground cottage industry in illegal music...recorded on discarded X-ray film.

Doctor Who co-creator Sydney Newman advocated a female Doctor in 1986. (As well as some very '70s companions.)

People tend to lose track of actual facts about the Bible, including how Lovecraftian it is: There are twelve pearly gates, they're carved from a single pearl each, and they are never, ever closed.
erinptah: (Default)
"[Kevin Pratt-King] had asked McCain for help after being diagnosed with the same form of aggressive cancer, glioblastoma. Instead of offering aid, according to Roy’s tweet, McCain advised them to move to a different state."

"Social workers began going door to door in San Juan housing projects, explaining that a pill could be taken daily to prevent pregnancy. Once women were told what the pill did, they signed up by the hundreds. However, these women were not informed that they were part of a clinical trial or that the treatment was experimental."

"Side effects [of the vaginal implant] can range from chronic pain and loss of sexual function, to major complications like the implant protruding through the bladder, or bowels, even necessitating removal of organs ensnared in the mesh. It can shrink inside your body, slicing through nerve endings, tissue and organs."

"If someone makes the effort of going to doctor after doctor, and all they are given is a pat on the head and told, 'Oh, sweetie, you'll be OK—you just need to smile more,' that is a failure of the physicians." Article covers both social biases (like doctors assuming a woman's problems are psychosomatic instead of doing tests) and biological ones (like researchers only testing on male mice, leaving them with huge gaps in knowledge regarding biologically female humans).

"The Gay Men’s Chorus posed to illustrate the impact of AIDS. Those dressed in black, with their backs turned, represent those who had died." This 1993 photo is a punch in the heart.

"The military spends five times as much on Viagra as it would on transgender troops’ medical care."

And for something more hopeful:

An experiment, recounted in comic form: If you put rats alone in cages, they'll addict themselves to morphine. If you put them in an enriching environment with a bunch of other rats to hang out with, they'll avoid it.

Gisella Perl, the "Angel of Auschwitz" -- who got that title by providing abortions, so the Nazis wouldn't have pregnant Jewish women to experiment on.

"As what was thought to be the largest referral service in the country, which referred an estimated half million women for abortions in its six years of existence, the [Clergy Consultation Service] had significant market power that it leveraged to reduce the going rate for an abortion." The name isn't a euphemism. It was literally a coalition of Protestant and Jewish religious leaders.

"Intersex advocates are rejoicing at a paper released by three former US Surgeons General. The surgeon-generals called for an end to forced medical surgeries on young intersex people."
erinptah: (space)
People killed by police in the US, 2017. Currently at 759.

Charlottesville-based organizations that can take your money. (The Twitter thread have been going around; this is a blog post that rounds up the links.)

"'I was expecting him to come home, not to be buried,' [the 16-year-old's grandmother] told the station. 'I was telling him, give yourself a little while and you’ll be home with me.'" Justice for Aries Clark.

"We are among the vast majority of Americans who believe that we must take sensible steps to prevent massacres like the one that took my daughter’s life. We will continue to speak up. We will not go away."

2014 FBI study: "There were, on average, 16.4 [mass] shootings a year from 2007 to 2013, compared with an average of 6.4 shootings annually from 2000 to 2006. In the past 13 years, 486 people have been killed in such shootings, with 366 of the deaths in the past seven years." This was commissioned by Obama post-Sandy Hook, and was the first FBI study of its kind.

"...two officers who encountered the armed off-duty officer ordered him to the ground. He complied. When they recognized the off-duty officer, they told him he could stand up and walk toward them. Another officer just arriving at the scene saw the off-duty officer get up and, not knowing he was an officer, fired his weapon once at the man."

"Southaven officers went to the wrong house to serve a warrant on Monday, which resulted in the shooting death of a man who did not have any active warrants out for his arrest." Worse, they shot Ismael Lopez through his front door.
erinptah: (daily show)
You can send a set of ITMFA pins to your Congressperson. Proceeds go to the ACLU, Planned Parenthood, and the International Refugee Assistance Project.

"'The refugee agencies didn’t really feel comfortable sending their kids anywhere,' Adams says. 'We needed to be that place for them.” It’s no coincidence that as Sullivan has established itself as the go-to school for refugees in the last couple of years, its academic standing has also risen."

"Airwars researchers estimate that at least 2,300 civilians likely died from Coalition strikes overseen by the Obama White House—roughly 80 each month in Iraq and Syria. As of July 13, more than 2,200 additional civilians appear to have been killed by Coalition raids since Trump was inaugurated—upwards of 360 per month, or 12 or more civilians killed for every single day of his administration."

"I was having lunch with Shonda Rhimes last week and a woman stopped at the table — well-dressed, probably in her 40s or 50s — and she said, ‘I just can’t leave this restaurant without telling you I’m just so devastated,’ and she just started to cry. I was on the other side of the table, or I would have done what I have done countless times since the election, which is just put my arms around her. Because people are so profoundly hurt." The surreal post-election life of Hillary Clinton.

"Not only were the Hartes upstanding citizens with clean records, they were also both former Central Intelligence Agency officers. And they were not weed growers. Rather, the quick-trigger suspicion of law enforcement had snagged on — it would later turn out — tea leaves and a struggling tomato plant."

"Initially, the city would impose property and sales taxes, but the property tax would ratchet down to zero over time. The business-friendly environment would draw new economic activity to Von Ormy, and eventually the town would cruise along on sales taxes alone." Spoiler alert: it did not cruise. It crashed and burned.

"A Facebook group for Norwegians opposed to immigration was widely mocked after members apparently could not tell the difference between empty bus seats and burka-clad women."
erinptah: (daily show)
"Over the years, prisoners have packaged coffee for Starbucks Corp. and wrapped software for Microsoft Corp. They manufacture furniture, schools supplies and food products. They make dental products, train animals, work in call centers and even pick cotton. All of these activities put prisoners in direct competition with blue-collar American workers; the latter has essentially no chance."

"...in the substantial majority of instances (68 percent) overall employment increased after a federal minimum-wage increase. In the most substantially affected industries, the rates were even higher: in the leisure and hospitality sector employment rose 82 percent of the time following a federal wage increase, and in the retail sector it was 73 percent of the time."

"...it seems safe to conclude that Seattle has tolerated its minimum wage increase well and that, by extension, other strong economies could do so. It also suggests that a key to successful large increases is a gradual phase-in that gives businesses time to adjust and experts time to study the impacts as they unfold."

"If [McCain, recently diagnosed with brain cancer] and his fellow Republicans in Congress have their way, health insurers could soon be allowed to deny me coverage — or to double or triple the cost of my insurance — due to the fact that I lost two close blood relatives to the same disease."

"Republicans are now pushing up against a growing consensus that the government should guarantee health insurance. A Pew survey in January found that 60 percent of Americans believe the federal government should be responsible for ensuring that all Americans have health coverage. That was up from 51 percent last year, and the highest in nearly a decade."
erinptah: Vintage screensaver (computing)
Over the course of more than 10 years, I uploaded almost 6,000 images.

A month ago, Photobucket broke them all and demanded I pay $400 to fix it.

Wish I'd taken a screenshot of my Account stats page before I started deleting, but here's what it looks like as of right now:



And I'm about to hit "delete" and make it go away entirely.

It took a bunch of exhausting busywork to get to this point, but I gotta say, now that I'm here, it feels pretty good.
erinptah: Madoka and Homura (madoka)
Madoka Magica features a ton of references and/or obvious influences from other magical-girl series. This bit, I would lay good odds, is a Doctor Who reference.

Here's some production art of the Seal of Rassilon:

Seal of Rassilon

Here's Homura with her shield:

Homura and shield

And here they are side-by-side. Either someone on the Madoka design team was a Who fan, or that's a heck of a coincidence. (The Coincidence of Rassilon, perhaps.)

Seal and shield
erinptah: (pyramid)
This guy is safely back at the local shelter where he came from.

(Full details in locked posts -- if you didn't see them, and would like to be on a filter that includes stuff like cat drama, feel free to comment.)

The name on the shelter paperwork is Eli, so that's what I'm going to call him, not the name picked out by the roommate who brought him home and then wasn't around to take care of him.

Eli is super shy and super timid, but also totally mellow -- even when he was scared he never bit or scratched, just hid. In the three weeks he was at the flat, there was literally one time when he felt safe enough to approach a human on his own volition. Then he got spooked again, and there weren't enough days to re-reassure him before returning him to the professionals.

But I did get photos of him on the couch.



Petting for a sweet boy.



I hope he gets adopted by someone he can climb all over.
erinptah: Cat in a backpack (cat)
Linguistics links:

Nothing new under the sun: "in tibullus 1.8 (a poem about his boyfriend Marathus) has this line about “pugnantibus linguis” (literally battling tongues) which means that the idea of tongues battling for dominance in homoerotic fiction has been going on since at least the 1st century bce"

From Seaspeak to Singlish: cool English dialects and English-based creoles.

Hawaiian pidgin has a great all-purpose noun -- it's "you-know-what", "whatchamacallit", "so-and-so", and "the thing" all at once.

Cat links:

Before there were laptops, cats were happy to sit on our portable typewriters.

"I was right there in case he got upset — I was expecting him to hiss or growl or slink away. But then one of the ginger kittens started licking Mason’s ear, and Mason sort of leaned into it and closed his eyes like it was the most amazing thing ever."

erinptah: Madoka and Homura (madoka)
Down to my last 48 images on Photobucket. Have a rescued picspam.

It's Mma Precious Ramotswe and Mma Grace Makutsi, the heroines of The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency. Hugging. Seriously, it's just screencaps of this one great time they hugged.

Precious and Grace

That's Mma Ramotswe on the left. She's the detective. Very smart, very good with emotions, lots of tragic backstory. IIRC she's feeling the tragic backstory pretty hard in this moment.

And Mma Makutsi on the right. Very serious secretary/manager, first in her class, doesn't much approve of Feelings. The fact that she's having some is a big deal.

Doubles as an art reference for anyone looking to draw a hug. )
erinptah: (daily show)
While the Internet is going "can we impeach him NOW?" over Donald Trump's kid releasing his own treasonous emails, here's a grab-bag of other terribleness the right has been up to.

Donald: "On the campaign trail, Mr Trump repeatedly criticised President Barack Obama for golf outings during his presidency but as of his last trip to his golf club in Bedminster, New Jersey, Mr Trump has spent his 35th day at one his own golf properties." That's over 20% of his "presidency," for those keeping score.

'This is an act of insanity,' a former Trump inner-circle associate told me, 'but it’s how he functions.'”

Mike Pence: "He touched a piece of critical space flight hardware in the Orion clean room, despite the fact that there was a sign that clearly read, 'DO NOT TOUCH.'"

The State Department: "His team apparently waited too long to book accommodations for the President [at the G20] and his travelling staff and were told none of the major hotels had vacancies." And this isn't even the first time: "Secretary of State Rex Tillerson had to stay several miles away - at a sanitarium outside of Bonn - from other leaders at the February G20 ministers' meeting."

The Defense Department: "National security adviser H.R. McMaster, Defense Secretary James Mattis and Secretary of State Rex Tillerson all supported Trump [reaffirming Article 5] and had worked in the weeks leading up to the trip to make sure it was included in the speech, according to five sources familiar with the episode. They thought it was, and a White House aide even told The New York Times the day before the line was definitely included."

Eric Trump: "...while donors to the Eric Trump Foundation were told their money was going to help sick kids, more than $500,000 was re-donated to other charities, many of which were connected to Trump family members or interests, including at least four groups that subsequently paid to hold golf tournaments at Trump courses."

Mitch McConnell: "I didn't expect Donald Trump to win, I think most of my colleagues didn't, so we didn't expect to be in this situation [of having to follow through on our own promises]."

Hobby Lobby: Hobby Lobby has been smuggling thousands of illegally-gained artifacts out of Iraq. In case you're wondering, yes, this almost certainly means Hobby Lobby directly funds terrorists. Hobby Lobby is a sponsor of terrorism.

The RNC: "Political data gathered on more than 198 million US citizens was exposed this month after a marketing firm contracted by the Republican National Committee stored internal documents on a publicly accessible Amazon server." (Hey, remember how many Americans' personal data was exposed because of Hillary's emails? None of it!)

The House: "Rep. Dana Rohrabacher (R-CA) praised the recent Islamic State attack in Tehran as a 'good thing' and suggested that maybe the United States should work with the militant organization."
erinptah: Cat in a backpack (cat)
The couch I'm sitting on to write this, the one I'm usually sitting on when browsing/coloring/ficwriting, is really old. My parents got it (with a matching set of chairs) when I was in high school. It's the one big piece of furniture I took when I moved to Massachusetts.

More interestingly, it's been sat on by every cat I've ever lived with.

And I have photos!

2003-2006: Tabitha )

2009-2010: Ziggy Stardust )

2010: Bingley )

2010 again: Darcy )

2013: Isis )

2017: Molly )
erinptah: A map. (books)
Fixed all the broken images in my DW layouts tag. Here's one I never posted:

preview

Original layout using this Creative-Commons-licensed Manhattan panorama.

Live preview | Screenshot

Title: New York Evening (Fluid)
Credit to: [personal profile] erinptah
Base style: Tabula Rasa
Type: Full layout in CSS
Best resolution: 1024x768+
Tested in: Firefox, Chrome
Features: customizable, variable-width, 2 columns




To use:
  1. Go to Select Journal Style and set your theme to one of the Tabula Rasa styles: 2 columns, sidebar on the right.

  2. Go to Customize Journal Style: Custom CSS, untick Use layout's stylesheet(s), and copy the contents of the above textarea into Use embedded CSS.

  3. Save and enjoy!
erinptah: (Default)
Down to the last 399 images in my Photobucket account! Among the randomest of the broken images: desktop-screenshot memes from 8 years ago.

Here's what it looked like June 2009, two computers ago, running Windows XP:



And here's September 2009, my previous computer, running the just-released Windows 7:



Picking up the theme, the computer I got during grad school and still have, in July 2017:



That's the wonderful Desktop Calendar app running in the lower right. And in the second column of icons, you can see the folder with miscellaneous Photobucket rescues.
erinptah: (Default)

When last we left our heroes, democracy had been subverted on almost every level, including the level where the writers don't understand how American democracy works. But a shockingly-decent human being was pulled out of left field and appointed Vice President. It sets up the prospect of a happier ending than I would have thought possible.

Will the new VPEOTUS turn out to have been an evil mastermind all along? Let's find out!

---

Episode 13 opens with a fleet of mystery drones over the US. Our election-rigging not-Russian Someones have borrowed the tactic that the "good guys" used earlier. Awkward.

Villain uses the phrase "your loved ones...as you call them." That's how you know he's a villain, he doesn't believe in foolish things like 'love'.

They have his co-villain in custody in a bunker under the White House, and obviously the prospect of torture comes up, because these people still haven't figured out that it doesn't get accurate intel. Still President Fitz says that if they torture her, "we spit on the Constitution," and they'll be no better than the villains...if they do it on WH grounds. In foreign secret prisons? That, he would've been totally fine with.

Anyway, they decide to bluff her instead, and she cracks in like a minute. Which should've been a hint that she was counter-bluffing, but nope, they go along with it. Even agree to send David Rosen -- the guy she was dating, the guy who found out who she was but had to keep sleeping with her so she wouldn't catch on, the easiest possible person for her to psych out -- to deliver the immunity agreement.

Villain: "Can we start over? You know my real name now...."

Rosen, disbelievingly: "You murdered Elizabeth North!"

Villain, wheedling: "I know...!"

(He ends up punching her in the face. I'm okay with that.)

They get her with a more complicated bluff in the end. Olivia's dad pretends to talk his way into the bunker and bust her out -- with a gun, which, you know, maybe was supposed to be a clue that this was a scheme. But given how terrible these people have been about security before, I was totally willing to believe that nobody frisked him.

(He gets her back to the museum, then stabs her with a dinosaur tooth. I, uh, would've liked her alive to testify, but if you ignore that bit it's a cool scene.)

---

The bad guys were sending Olivia's dad random packages, which turned out to be full of bricks, but calculated to make up the approximate weight of a human head. Which is apparently terrifying and intimidating, that they can afford to waste that much on postage.

So this episode opens with David Rosen bringing Abby an actual head. (The woman Dad Pope just killed. Abby calls her "ponytail bitch," which is as good a name as any.)

Third-to-last episode and we kinda have a case-of-the-week! Olivia Pope and Associates are trying to convince Fitz to do a last-minute pardon (for a black guy convicted of killing a white guy acquitted of killing a black guy). Huck and Quinn face down a bar full of heavily-armed racists and walk out untouched (and carrying a few extra guns), which is the kind of content I like to see.

David and Abby bond over their mutual angst about being manipulated. It's kinda cute. I would like them to have a happy ending, if only because they were broken up in such an awful way.

I was reeeeally worried the Shocking Twist would be that our victim-of-the-week is guilty after all, but never fear! We're 26 minutes into the episode and Olivia hates the idea: "You want me to take your racially-sensitive tinderbox of a closed case to an outgoing President with a legacy to protect because you have a feeling?"

Five minutes from the end, and some of our heroes have a shocking revelation that the Mystery Villains were working for someone! This is a twist? Y'all thought you were chatting directly with the top brass of the superconspiracy this whole time?

On the plus side, it turns out Olivia was testing Quinn -- "Running this firm will mean going up against the White House sometimes, I needed to know that you could handle it." Would've had more impact if the viewers didn't know from experience she would be wrong, but you take what you can get.

The evil mastermind is Olivia's mom! On Luna Vargas' behalf, I am delighted.

---

Mellie: "It's official, everyone in your family has wanted me dead at some point or another." She's not wrong.

Mom Pope gets a long monologue about how she's been secretly working in the name of good all along, and this just one more example of black women's work not being appreciated. On Luna Vargas' behalf, I'm worried again.

Olivia tries to bluff out her mom ("I'm totally on your side, but you need to give them something"), and overplays it horribly. So it doesn't work, and she tries strangling instead. Who on this writing team has a thing for choking?

Oh, and Quinn's pregnant. I guess at this point someone had to be.

---

IT WAS LUNA.

Dammit, show. I didn't want to be right about this. For this narrative, the really shocking twist would be someone turning out to be a genuinely decent human being.

...or at least, it was sort-of Luna. She "paid someone", presumably Mom Pope, to kill Frankie. Mom Pope passed the orders to Team Rocket, who passed them on via blackmail to half the main cast.

That still doesn't answer the question of where Team Rocket came from in the first place. Luna didn't create them, and I don't think Mom Pope did either. Their identities were almost perfectly scrubbed, they had millions to throw around and the financial infrastructure to cover their tracks, they were playing next-level blackmail chess. They had tracking chips in their necks, and were able to pull out a dozen covert drones at a moment's notice.

This only makes sense if they're agents of a serious organization -- and if they have motives other than money. I'm not even sure where Luna was supposed to have whipped up secret presidential-assassination levels of payment in the first place, but the effort these people went to, they would've needed power or ideology or both. Russian agents: makes sense! Random assassins: terrible narrative Plan B.

(It's also implied Cyrus gave her the idea, which, again...nobody's motives line up with the idea of killing Vargas before the EC vote.)

Abby to Quinn: "You wanted to have a baby? Let's have a baby." Uh...you two aren't the canon ship here...are you?

After a successful inauguration where nobody got shot, Olivia and Jake talk Luna into killing herself. Because hey, let's wrap up that loose end before any viewers start asking awkward questions. At least it got us this little gem:

Olivia: "Raise your hand if you've killed a Vice President before." [raises hand, looks meaningfully at Jake]

Jake: "Mine was Argentine."

Olivia: "That counts."

After all that, it's looking like the next season is going to have all the same people in power in Washington, just shuffled around a bit. Like, we might even have Cyrus installed as Mellie's VP after all.

I was going to say "still better than Trump," but, you know what? The last scene we get of President Mellie is her signing an executive order that Olivia puts in front of her, without reading it. (She accepts Olivia's summary, that it's setting aside a bit of cash for the military. It is, in fact, setting aside a bit of cash for Olivia.)

Sorry, America. The votes from the state of Shondaland are in, and it turns out you lost.

erinptah: (daily show)
The photobucket clearout has turned up some fun fake-news images. In the spirit of Independence Day, here they are on their brand-new host.

Illustrated Jons, from otherwise-forgotten articles:

Jon Jon


Jon and Stephen playing cards, from a 2008 pro-Obama deck:

Colbert playing card Stewart playing card


This one is (a) very NSFW and (b) not actually Jon, but isn't it fun to look at?

NSFW art under the cut )


This one is definitely a 100% authentic gif of "Stephen":

confused eagle


And finally, the only thing better than Jon and/or Stephen, a digitally-fused portrait that's both-Jon-and-Stephen-at-once:

Jon-Stephen fusion

Either that, or they secretly had a kid, because their BFFdom is just that magical.

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Where the towels are oh so fluffy

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